Kuwaiti Politics: Taking The Gloves Off

During election season, one of the most effective methods of campaigning in Kuwait is visiting the Diwaniya. This can be a deciding factor in whether or not the candidate wins or loses and to this date, I have yet to see someone who refused to go to diwaniyas win the election. Moreover, why should he or she win? I mean, if a political district consists of 50-100 thousand voters, depending on each district, surely a candidate can make the time to head to some key figures in each residential area. The former head of the Parliament, Jasem Al-Khorafi (who also happens to be one of the world’s wealthiest men) has been known to visit “Koat Diwaniyas” where the oldest person present was 24 years old. Entering a diwaniya and seeking support of your fellow citizen is viewed as the ultimate sign of humility and if there’s one pre-requisite to succeeding in Kuwait….its being humble.

Interestingly enough, Diwaniyas used to be so appreciative of the candidate (or in many cases, former MPs) that they would indulge in small talk while the sweet and Arabic coffee was served. Sure they would ask about how he sees the future, or perhaps a general question about the relationship between the Executive and the Legislative branches but always in a way that triggers a pre-scripted response. A healthy scoop of rhetoric, topped off with some personal achievements (relevant or irrelevant) and mixed together with praising the host family. It’s a song and dance we’re all too familiar with and its politics.

The other day, during our family Diwaniya, one of the candidates came in at a relatively late hour. With all due respect to this candidate (this respect will be shown by me not writing his name, and that’s as far as I’m willing to go), he has very little to offer Kuwait and would most likely not represent a 10^th vote, let alone one of the sacred four. He’s a career candidate (never making it to the Parliamentary seat but still choo-choo-ing forward) who actually had some very interesting analysis with regards to this election.

He began discussing the transformation of Kuwaiti politics, through the Diwaniya as a primary medium. “Before,” he said, “the predominant language of the Diwaniya was that of gracious welcome and formalities”. “Today, though” he continued “people know about the issues and they want details. It’s not enough to simply speak and say farewell.” Now, knowing this candidate and his ability to recite pre-scripted 6-liners, spiced with some sophisticated terms (with a gleeful glow to follow suit), its only appropriate that he would notice such change.

I began by describing this change in the tone of the diwaniyas, as they host fellow citizens with Parliamentary aspirations as a transformation. However, if we’re to be fair, it can and should only be described as evolution. When formality is replaced with inquisitiveness. When instead of being urged to try the sweet, they are urged to defend their views under sophisticated scrutiny. When instead of saying reassuring words to those who we placed our trust in and now find themselves jobless, the words they say are harsh but genuine. When “how is the family” is replaced with “what did you do to stop the others from turning the Parliament into a circus?”… that’s when you know Kuwaiti politics is evolving. Kuwaitis worked hard to build this beautiful country and we have a right to make sure that the people we elect will work just as hard as our forefathers. Its time to take the gloves off, because Kuwait deserves better.

Of Cats and Government

Did you know that controversial Al-Watan columnist Fouad Al-Hashem has a TV show now? I think it may be for the election period only, but basically, he interviews one person a night and they've all been either Ministers (Ahmed Baqer) or people running for office.

Anyway, there are those who love him and there are those who hate him. There are those that consider him the worst thing that ever happened to Kuwaiti media. There are those that see him as the true voice of the Kuwaiti citizen. To call him controversial is an understatement. Now I'm saying this because I plan on quoting him, without commenting on my personal feelings or position when it comes to this man. The quote, however, I subscribe to 100%:

On his show, Al-Hashem began discussing his encounter with this old Egyptian teacher. They used to sit together and speak of politics, and social aspects. So he recounts a story that this Egyptian teacher told him, in the following way:

"One day, a man was about to get married. He went to his Father and asked him if he had any pearls of wisdom for him so that his marriage will be long and successful. The Father looks at his son and says 'Do what I tell you, and you will have a long and fruitful marriage'. He went on to tell him to hide a cat under their bed on the night of their wedding (ringing bells anyone?). 'Then, once the cat makes the slightest sound, you quickly grab him from under the bed and execute him in front of your wife'.

The wedding night comes and goes, and the man decides against his Father's advice. He loves his wife very much, and the idea of killing a cat in front of her seemed cruel and arcane. After 40 years of marriage, the man reflects on all that has happened and realized that this woman undermined him, disobeyed him, scolded and even hit him for his entire life. On that day, after another one of her yelling sessions, he decided that he'd had enough. He ran out to the street, found a stray cat and brought it back to the house. After the woman saw her husband kill a cat in front of her, she said "Oh honey, its a little late for that, don't ya think?"

That's the story Fouad Al-Hashem used to describe our Government. I think he hit the nail on the head with that story. Nevertheless, correcting our mistakes is important and reviving the lost prestige of the law is worth the effort.

Far3eeyaat and Paperclips

Its funny what things people will turn into games. When you walk into someone’s office (who has way too much time on his hands), you might catch him stringing up paperclips. After you sit down, pick up the newspaper on his desk to scan through the headlines, you lower it, and still find him fiddling with those paperclips. You let out half a smile, and lift up your paper until the CEO of the company walks in to the office. Suddenly, you find yourself up on your feet, “Saba7k Allah Bil 5air Bu-Flaan”. Besides the wide age gap between the CEO and yourself, there is the significant difference in stature: he’s a CEO and you’re an employee. Then to your surprise, you look to your friend who’s sitting on the desk…

He’s let out a smile “Saba7 il 5air”, yet his eyes are still fixed to the paperclips, and he’s made no effort to stand. The CEO seats himself down, and now its you, your fiddler of a friend and the man who decides your future all in one small office. To your surprise, the CEO begins a conversation with your friend, while not really reacting to the fact that your friend is replying in “hmms” and “ahaaas” working on what he’s now decided will be the longest paperclip snake in the world. After 3 minutes, the CEO with his mood unchanged, stands up and leaves this office. No reaction to the blatant disregard to company time, no reaction to the lack of respect shown to his stature, no reaction to the nonchalant grunts that countered his attempt at dialogue…. What the hell just happened?

Congratulations to the tribes on their successful far3eeyat…you officially have the longest paperclip snake in Kuwait.

Masquerading in Kuwait

I spent a lot of time outside of Kuwait. So much so, that I feel I tend to see things as an outsider would. A lot of times, what surprises and shocks me is seen to be normal and what I find to be normal surprises and shocks the people around me. Don't get me wrong. If you haven't read my earlier posts, or still feel like you don't know me, my attachment to Kuwait is very strong. Its built on sense of duty, honor (inshallah), and nationalism that has become more and more scarce in our beloved country. I remain optimistic….

You know what though? Optimism is faced with daily tests, particularly in Kuwait. Today, I'd like to discuss one of those tests that has me baffled, astonished, annoyed, angry, deceived, underestimated, and slightly disgruntled:

The other day, my family and I were sitting at the dinner table trapped in a general discussion ranging from "True Blood" (HBO's new vampire-related series) to the Kuwait Stock Exchange. Around the later portion of this conversation, one of my cousins entered. Being an educated man, with an engineering background and the tendency to speak in Fus7a (proper Arabic – Think 9 O'clock news), he gave us his input with regards to the stock market and international markets in general.

Now, this would be fine if such input would stop at the "tea time" conversational level. It never does. He went on to discuss how the global markets have zero affects on the local market, that there is a conspiracy by certain families (listing the same families who have literally lost tens of millions in this "conspiracy") and that its all the Central Banks fault. Please realize that no opinion has been voiced. Through his eyes, he has stated a number of unshakable truths, regardless of the fact that he is not linked to the stock market in any shape, way or form (not even as a citizen trader).

Again, such statements (voiced in Fus7a, that people with Islamist inclination so love to embrace) may be argued without opposition if no one at the table was equipped or knowledgeable in this matter. I mean that's when people are supposed to argue something, right? When they actually know what the hell they're talking about? Well, to his dismay, at the dinner table was an MBA from an Ivy League university and business school graduate who happens to work in one of the major investment companies in the country. Now when the MBA started talking, she used her background bachelors degree in economics to argue certain points like monetary policy etc etc. He dismissed her point of view. When the business school graduate started to quote the traders perspective, he again dismissed his view. "Hathee ma6boo5a min zimaan, wil shurra 3ala illy maa gidar yinuthimha gubbil il 6aay7a".

The lesson is this:

In Kuwait, one of the major shocks I received, and continue to experience is the way that people enjoy masquerading. After all, what other name can you assign to someone who claims to know everything about something he actually KNOWS nothing about. Moreover, how can that very same masquerader, when placed with someone who has stayed true to his one and only face, still manage to belittle and disqualify that expert (at least expert by comparison) opinion.

Now, it's not to say the person is a bad guy. I mean there are the old ladies that have no problem prescribing medicine, or the random Joe who thinks he knows what's wrong with your car just by a noise you describe, or the person from a broken home who wants to give married people advice on healthy relationships. These people exist and are part of our everyday lives.

One thing for sure…masquerading is a Kuwaiti pastime, and I for one will never get used to it.